deidaracchi:

today in science we had this sub nd the other people went outside so it was just me and a couple friends so we flipped all the chairs upside down and formed a satanic star in the middle of the room w yard sticks and i laid in t he middle of th floor while all the other people acted like they were sacrificing me th en the sub came in and the only thing he said was “oh not again”

pontmercyanide:

some flowers just arrived for my sister but my mom thought they were for me.

and so she asked if they were from henry and of course i asked what the hell she was talking about

and she was like “henry, the boy you’re always talking about.”

she meant henry david thoreau.

i quote henry david thoreau so much my mom thought henry david thoreau was my boyfriend

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chrssy:

riding your man like

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thatfunnyblog:

sometimes my mood is ‘beyonce’

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but other times its ‘white person in an infomercial’


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